Because it takes aeons for my page to load.
Because I keep timing out from my sessions.
Because I'm sick and tired of dealing with this crap.
its so weird to go back to studying after a year of working. i don't know. things are starting to pick up pace, and i'm trying to catch on, trying to get my rhythm/mojo back.
there are so much reading to do, and i have 3 presentations this semester. i'm so nervous about it tho, coz of my stupid malaysian accent. my classes are all white. except for like.. me, and 2 other sporean girls. they are... i dunno what to say about them, but they both keep to themselves a lot. coz i am malaysian. so i'm worried if the lecturer/classmates don't know what the fuck am i going on about. i usually never have any problem presenting. not sure about this time tho. PLUS aiyoh, i'm constantly zoning out during lectures. go in, sit, stone. class over.
:( very bad. i don't absorb one single thing from class.
its not easy making friends here. i'm glad i get along pretty well with my housemates. i wish i stayed on campus tho. it would be way easier to meet people. haha. oh well. meet guys ah-hem HAHAHAHA.
need to get a part time job soon, as soon as i'm comfortable with being here. but apparently, its difficult getting a job because i'm asian. they are not used to having asians here. really. the only asians i see so far are in uni. everywhere i go, city, clubbing, drinking, dinner, shopping mall... hardly any asians.
sigh.
such is the story of my life right now.
i miss home LOTS!
drinking, dancing and mabuking...
i don't fucking care.
i won't feel bad.
if you're not gonna tell people you flirt with that you're attached,
i'm gonna do the same.
i'm going as wild as you can possibly imagine.
and its not difficult for me to do it here.
in fact,
its pretty easy.
My Dear Shannel,
I can still remember how we bumped into each other at the 3 store in World Square. I mean, out of all the places we could have gone to during our first few days in Sydney, what are the odds of both of us ending up in the same place? I didn't even plan to get a phone plan because I hated the phones and I still loved my samsung egg model back then.
But we did, and we clicked. I don't remember if it was instant, but I know that we hit it off. If not for you I would never have known how NOT to dress, and you did so much more for my confidence because of the person you are.
When I went through one of the worst times of my life you were there for me.
Every.
Single.
Step.
Of.
The.
Way.
With your chicken soup and milo. And how you'd coax me to smile by playing cheat and saying that we should take a picture - yes, I knew.
We did have our fights. Misunderstandings and the usual tiffs. But we never got vicious did we? I mean, we could have and we both know how mean we can be if we want to (although you do have a softer heart than me at times), but we didn't. Our confrontations were never more than necessary and always with allowance for an explanation.
I miss sitting down with you in Gloria Jeans at the corner of Pitt and Park Street. I miss how we'd see how people dress and comment. I miss how we'd flare up all of a sudden when someone bumped our chairs or heads with their bag. I miss running there under the rain and I miss using the rain as an excuse to stay there longer.
Know that forgetting the night when you woke me up by kissing me on the forehead and telling me that everything will be alright is almost impossible. Then again, I may not ever want to forget it either.
So, here we are today. The pictures and memories may be in the past, but our friendship is in the present and I pray that it may well head far into the future.
Things are hard now, I know but haven't we always pulled through and come out stronger than ever? I say "we" because you aren't alone, love. We may not be right next to each other staying under the same roof anymore but I still love you and there isn't one day when I don't remember you.
Things WILL get better. And I hope this makes you smile on the inside because it comes straight from my heart.
You're making me feel guilty by asking me why I left you with him, but trust me when I say that the next time I see him I will initiate operation Swift-Kick-To-His-Butt.
I can't wait to hug you tight the next time I see you. Let's hope it will be sometime soon.
Much love,
Joy
Is all I wanna do~
It's funny how just when you think you've been through enough together to get past that superficial level of friendship, when faced with an adversity instead of working things out we each head in separate directions in hatred because you simply refuse to put in the effort to acknowledge that no problem should be bigger than the prize that is a friendship.
I guess we just didn't live up to each other's expectations. The only difference is you knew what mine were while you left me in the dark about yours.
You're not my friend but an enemy in denial because you were one of the first few people I told of my situation, yet when things got worse you never knew because you probably felt that I was not somebody who mattered enough to you to care about.
I can't believe I bothered to stand up for you when behind my back you were busy assuming ugly things about me. We both know this isn't the first time.
Sigh.
I'm done. I give up. There is no point to a friendship which you have to force to make it happen. I've put in more effort than you deserve and I'm not giving you anymore.
I thought I'd feel sad but I'm past that. I've been upset, I've been angry.
Now, I'm done.
*Heaves a breath of relief and smiles*
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On a less depressing note, ELAINE LOKE PLEASE PACK YOUR BAGS NOW.
You're leaving tomorrow for goodness sake. Sue and I will be there early and I swear I'll smack you if your bag isn't packed by midday.
Then again, even if it is I'll probably still smack you because I won't be able to to that anymore for a long time once you go down the escalator in KLIA *whines sadly*
Heheh .. Don't say I didn't warn you.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
Come to think of it, I guess my problems are nothing compared to theirs:
http://multimedia.heritage.org/content/wm/Lehrman-092706a.wvx
AND I AM GOING TO KRABI, THAILAND.
HOHOHOHOHOH. I AM EXCITED THANKS.
PAD THAI, MASSAGES, EURO HOTTIES, BEACH, SAND SEA AND FUN HERE COMES ELAINE!!!
So, one of the five Dalmatian pups I had was given to my mum's colleague (Sean? Shawn? Whatever. Let's call him S).
See, S has a young family. He and his wife have a four year old son and a new-born baby. Naturally (although it didn't happen in my case), the four year old terror became jealous that he was no longer the main attention getter of his two parents.
And thus, that horrible little kid TOOK IT OUT ON THE PUPPY.
I mean, what kind of demonic kid learns to torture a young animal at the age of FOUR YEARS OLD?!
It's a puppy for crying out loud!
The parents' reason (I prefer excuse) was this,
"He can't help it. And we don't know what to do."
Dude. DISCIPLINE YOUR DAMN KID.
You are the parents. How he grows up in life is YOUR responsibility. Your kid TORTURED a puppy!
And so, folks, this is how the future generation will be like.
Spare the rod and spoil the child. (Then again, I believe it's the parents who are in need of a caning)
Instead of giving it back, S gave it to his childhood friend. My mum had to dig out the information from S' wife because he didn't even have the balls to tell the truth.
What a coward.
At least his wife made the decision to end the torture by giving the puppy away.
Anyway, I can't remember the name of S' friend but I thank the Lord for him because he loved the puppy so much that he called my mum and asked if he could have another. Now, my beloved Spots is with him.
I personally handed her over to him, and he kissed her head while we were having a chat when he came to collect her. She's with her brother now, so I hope they'll both have a good life.
Parting with a puppy is a hard thing.
Especially when you've given her your most favorite soft toy for her teething years.
Sigh.
i am very possessive.
especially of the people that i love.
that is all. thanks.
